rabbithole diaries

6 am: hateful morning
hateful mind

white blind dawning

8 am: I dub thee—rabbithole diary

redshift explanations

documentary on Time

need to create some good habits
is all I ever write to myself

9 am: admiring my failures

autopsy
or repression

I overdose on both

---

rabbithole diaries II

3 am: sipping my daily wisdom

quantum metaphors
and other science etcetera

5 am: crafting delusion
conscious fantasy

vain mythmaking

the mutable self
and its chemical realm

6 am: pushing reset

under character or pseudonym
building nothing on nothing but building still

9 am: no news
corralling and distributing my emotions carefully

10 am: reading with arrhythmic pace
looking up what dyslexia means again

---

rabbithole diaries III

11 pm: skimming a biography
quietly thinking 2048, 54, 56
feeling out for fatal hints
a little ambitiously

12 am: has my coffee intake been periodically causing an existential crisis?
in literature, there is a cure in recognition
in science or pop science, you are just a cliché

you read about these things and dismiss them until you don't
they solve you but they don't

always reading for a new solution
they fix you but leave you broken

reading for transcendence
repairing and tinkering – with you

intellectual ecstasy,
it's worthless, isn't it?

resetting and resetting and resetting

sleeping and waking up