Reading is the most fulfilling activity in my life. When it's going good, it transports me. I'm inspired and the world is good. It's a feeling I chase. So, why do I find it so difficult? I love it, but I often have to drag myself to do it. I'm a walking contradiction.
I beat myself up over this a lot.
I'm not a novice reader. I love classics. I'm comfortable with metaphysical ideas and experimental genres. I'm not intimidated by big books. I almost never find myself asking Google or Reddit, "What's so great about X classic?" I've always been able to approach a great work of art and reach some understanding of it without handholding. It's fun. It gets me thinking and I love thinking.
So, why do I procrastinate? I'm quite tired of asking myself this question.
I've decided it might be a bit cathartic to describe some of the difficulties I experience while reading and some of the strategies that have helped me overcome them from time to time. I hope they can help you as well.
Long-Term Procrastination
This happens when I haven't read in weeks or months. It happens once or twice a year. I just go with it. I give myself a break and set a date in the future to start back up again. Next month. Next week. Then the day comes and nothing happens.
What I've learned from this is that I put too much pressure on myself to return back to "normal". I expect myself to go back to reading 2+ hours a day and 4 to 6 books a month. When I fail, the disappointment makes procrastination the comfortable alternative.
The solution: after a long break of reading, start with small goals—10 pages a day or 20 minutes of reading. Sometimes I can blow past these small goals; getting rid of the weight of expectations is enough to relieve the pressure and I get back to my usual pace fairly quickly. Other times I need to work my concentration back up step by step.
Short-term Procrastination
This happens even when I've been reading consistently every day. I have the time to spend, but I keep putting it off to later in the day.
Setting up a strict schedule never works for me. Again, it's like setting myself up to fail and the failure leads to shame and avoidance.
What does work for me is keeping track of what I do spend my time on. The shock of seeing a very detailed record of how much time you spend on YouTube, Reddit, Discord, etc. will open your eyes. For some reason this is motivating for me and not harmfully shame-inducing. It gives me that extra kick to stop wasting time whenever I become conscious that I am procrastinating. I start keeping an internal clock for time-wasting activities and feel when I'm approaching an imbalance.
At that moment, I start reading. If I tell myself, I will do it in a hour, in a few minutes, it won't happen.
It's the power of now. Instead of waiting until after I make myself some coffee, I read for 20 minutes first, then go drink some coffee, and then read another 20 minutes. Instead of following the sudden urge to tidy up the room, I read first. I suddenly remember I need to do some laundry: read first. Even if it is only for 10 minutes. There's a daily reading momentum that builds up. The earlier I start building it, the easier it gets.
Will Power
Will power is finite. In any given day, I only have so much in reserve. I've found that I need to get my reading done early. If I tell myself there is a block of three hours at the end of the day when I can get my reading done, I will very likely have spent my reserves by then. It's just not gonna happen.
The great benefit of getting it done early is that, while making the decision to sit down and read might deplete some will power, the actual reading might also renew some of that will power back up. It might spark my curiosity, or my progress in a book might leave me with a sense of accomplishment. So instead of being depleted at the end of the day, I am energized.
Intrusive Thoughts
Ok, so procrastination solved, I've finally gotten myself to sit down, I open the book, and my mind is suddenly filled with intrusive thoughts (regrets, painful memories, shame, recriminations, absurd violent possibilities). Why is my mind so set against me?! It's so exhausting! This may be my hardest struggle with reading. It doesn't always happen. Some months it is entirely absent. But other times, it happens as soon as I reach for a book.
One thing that has worked for me is to set up a specific word, a phrase, or a self-affirmation to be triggered by the intrusive thought. I come up with something that is repeatable. I do not think through the intrusive thought. My mind bcecomes almost like a kid covering their ears and yelling nonsense to drown out the noise.
Another thing that has helped me immensely is a cognitive-behavioral therapy technique: smiling. Just smile when you have an intrusive thought. Somehow this works. It feels like I'm using an eraser on the intrusive thoughs. I have even begun smiling without realizing it, without really feeling the thoughts coming on yet, but sensing them somewhere close, and then my mind is semi-blank for a while, at peace.
Of course, it's not perfect. Sometimes it just doesn't work. So it's highly important to stop doing what you are doing if the intrusive thoughts go on too long. Or you'll be in danger of associating that activity with the intrusive thought. You may even develop a phobia for reading.
Reading the Same Lines Over and Over Again
This is caused by poor working memory. When this happens, I give myself permission to read those same lines exactly three times then I have to move on. I trust that they have somehow gone into my long-term memory, even if my working memory is still spacing out. Then if those lines are still nagging at me because I feel like I'm missing something, I go back and read them again. But I only go back when I've gotten past a long paragraph or at least a page. Often, getting a wider perspective on the sentence/paragraph/chapter structure helps my mind process the information.
You do not want to keep reading the same lines over and over again. They become nonsense, like repeating a word out loud until it loses all meaning.
A Counter-Intuitive Approach to Maintain Focus
I'll end on this piece of advice because I almost never see it mentioned: reading a little bit faster may help with your focus.
At the root of distractibility is boredom. If you read too slowly, you may get bored. Your mind can process more information than what you are feeding it and it starts trying to fill in the empty space. It begins distracting you, looking for tangents, because it’s bored. I'm not saying you should speed-read, but just go a little faster than you think you can. Keep your brain entertained and it is more likely to stay focused. The key is giving it just a little more stimulus, so walking while reading may also help, or listening to ambient music.
Leave Me Your Comments Below
I hope these strategies help. Let me know if you've had similar issues and what strategies have helped you in the past. And stay tuned for more reading strategies on how not to be paralyzed by choice, how to handle multiple books at once, and reading speed anxiety.
This is incredible... this reading paradox is so big for me too & I don’t see it talked about a lot. Thank you :,)